those selected few

There are those selected few who always get to you. Actions or inactions. Words expressed or held back. Somehow, they have manage to crawl under your skin and pick at the scars, softspots or whatever it is that rile you up. Heck, you can’t even deem them the “selected” few because you don’t always choose them in your life. They appear, they piss over all that you thought have been true and they own you for a long, long time.

Often, you try to be brave and fight with all the ways you know how. However, there are moments when you remember that you are the broken child, never quite figuring out how to put the pieces together and the day falls apart.

There are also those whom you are paid to deal with who have the propensity to cause brain aneurysms. Everyday, you question why you put youself through so much pain for so little.

Farewells

Never really good at them. I get either too emotional or too falsely cheerful. There is never a middle ground.

By 12noon today, there were already two. One was cheeky because we knew we would hang out again soon enough. And I outgrew the previous melodrama. Another was sombre because 365 days later, everything might have changed. And it was difficult to lose one of your best friends.

But I am grateful that at least for today, I get proper farewells.

Everything and nothing changed

“We are still a hateful, war-waging culture that denigrates women, celebrates killing, despoils the planet, plunders the resources of less powerful people, keeps a permanent underclass in virtual economic slavery and wages imperialist wars abroad.”

Scary isn’t it, when you bother to sit down and ponder upon the fact?

When I look back

To quote Abby Perkins: Will I regret these encounters, if I will find as I grow up that these boys have, at some point, slipped into my heart and dug out something that I will miss later. The days filled with worries, anxiety and overall discomfort, I would be inclined to think that I already have my regrets. Then I saw how care had glimpses of impact. And I need to learn that that would have to be enough.

Al Capone

“You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot further with a smile and a gun.”

Life sometimes throw so much at you that being armed (physically or otherwise) becomes a necessity. And if you have to go down, what better way than with weapons hot?

3Cs Theorem

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
~ Harry S. Truman

While I have no idea if my co-workers revere Mr Truman, his advice has been taken to a whole new level: Convince, Confuse, Con.

Perhaps sending multiple emails with complex attachments have always worked in their favour. After all, it is easy to get lost in the grandiose justifications and artful arguments. – Confusion? Check. – Furthermore, geographical distances make it difficult to ascertain any fact a hundred percent. Lies have been spun for far less. – Con? Check. -

Twenty seven months later, I realised I never quite figured out their motivations. And I simply try my darnest everyday to not get sucked into it all.

price of perfection

Back hurts, hands calloused, legs bruised but I’m absolutely loving it.

And this sums it up.

Exception

(Noun): An instance that does not conform to a rule or generalization.

There are always situations where established boundaries do not quite apply. However, I question myself whether I am allowing for too many exceptions this time.

Still standing

The best advice are the seemingly nondescript ones.
Here’s one from a lost love:
Plug in to music, bob your head and ride through the bullshit.

Today’s lesson

Dedication should not be mistaken for loyalty.